How New Year’s Resolutions Can Keep You From Keeping New Year’s Resolutions

IMG_8463-91-smIt’s mid-January, how are you doing with your New Year’s Resolutions? Are you still feeling the flush of optimism from New Year’s Eve?

Statistically 76% of you made it through week one, but only 71% of you will make it past this week. To help keep you from falling off that list here are some things to think about.
Remember you’re already ahead of the curve! You’re 10 times more likely to keep those goals if you actually make the resolution in the first place. Keep your momentum and you’re in a good position to keep that resolution. Each day you keep with the program the easier it becomes to stay with it from a brain science perspective. Keep reminding yourself about the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow… positive reinforcement really does work, especially this early in the process.
If you’re starting to feel the pull to drop your resolution already then try re-evaluating the resolutions you made. Maybe the problem isn’t that you can’t keep resolutions. It’s quite possible you are focusing on the wrong area, or taking the “hard road” to get to your destination. Many times will power isn’t enough by itself to get you to your goal. Trying to force yourself to achieve something without a solid, reliable plan can lead to giving up too soon.
Often the problem is the number of things you are trying to achieve. Setting too many resolutions at once, or having too many goals you’re trying to work towards can dilute your energy and prevent you from succeeding.  Take a hard look at the goals you set and ask yourself the following question: “If I could only choose one of these  goals, which would it be?” If there is one that stands above the rest then perhaps you would be better off just working on that one resolution. It’s easy to lose sight of how reality will impact your goals when you originally set them. Our enthusiasm makes us overly optimistic. Now is a great time to pare down your list to the core changes you want to make, or the top goal you want to achieve this year. That’s not defeat, that’s flexibility.
If you haven’t set a resolution for the year yet, don’t worry. It’s not too late to make your resolution now. It’s still January so technically you can tell anyone who raises an eyebrow that you’re just a thoughtful starter. Then write your resolution down and create a plan. If you need some help you can always use my “How to Finally Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions” online course as a resource. But even if you don’t get my help, the only way you move forward is to stretch yourself and try new things. So go ahead, be bold and make a resolution to improve or change something this year. Big or small, making a goal and achieving it can have lots of positive impact on your life.
Let me know what you think of this post. Was it useful? I really want to know!

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30 Second Networking Tip #66

Asking questions when you network is critical. But asking the wrong ones too soon can get you in hot water fast.


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10 Things to Remember When Fear Strikes

This morning I woke up anxious. I don’t know why. I just had that unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was wrong. Not knowing what only made it worse. Instead of avoiding it I call it what it is… irrational fear.

Carnival of SoulsNow you may, or may not, have this same experience regularly or every now and then. The truth is that we all get afraid at some point. My little bout with feeling afraid could have been a reaction to launching a new program in my business. It could have been a reaction to a memory or a particularly emotional conversation. It might have just been caused by the absence of an ’emergency’ to deal with. As business people we can easily get conditioned to thinking that progress is really running around putting out fires (which I often call managing by fire hose), and when there are no fires we get uncomfortable.

Regardless of what caused it I felt it. I’ve learned over the years there’s no unfeeling it once it is there. So, I just let it be. I took a few extra deep breaths, I slowed down a little bit and acknowledged that something was wrong. I gave myself permission to feel scared for a few minutes. Then it drained away and I was able to move on with my day. Fear happens… I’ve learned to deal with it pretty effectively when it does… and it can happen a lot as an entrepreneur.

When I sat down at my desk I decided to do a quick search on what other people say about fear and overcoming it. So here is a short list of my 10 favorite quotes about fear. Hopefully they will help you when that sinking feeling starts to rise in your belly, or when your pulse starts to quicken.

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” – Ambrose Redmoon

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

“When you do what you fear most, then you can do anything.” – Stephen Richards

“I have accepted fear as a part of life- specifically the fear of change… I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back…” – Erica Jong

“Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.” – Mark Twain

“Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” – Frank Herbert in “Dune”

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” – Marcus Aurelius

“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” -Henry Ford

“Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay…. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

“Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” – Yoda in “Star Wars”

Leave a comment and share your own experience of dealing with fear. I’d love to hear about it.

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